Where I Come From

More times than I can count, I've been asked about my life pre-Dallas, pre-A&M, pre-principal and so forth. Some day I will give you the whole of my amusement park life. Today, I think I'll focus on where I come from. The place where I grew up and spent the first 25 years of my life. The place was the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, in general, and Edinburg, specifically.



For those of my friends that grew up in The Valley and/or still live there, please understand that I'm not attacking my homeland. The Valley to someone who has never heard of the place, much less shuffled to a rousing Tex-Mex polka, it's pretty darn hard to explain and describe. Admit it. You know I'm right. The Valley is such a completely different experience.


I generally venture into my upbringing by mentioning that I was reared, not raised (thank you very much, Mrs. Harwell) in the nation's only Third World region. In fact, I'm pretty sure there are folks that would prefer The Valley to be part of Mexico with the advantages of being part of the United States. A kind of "friends with benefits" sort of relationship. Per capita, The Valley is probably one of the nation's poorest regions. On the other hand, The Valley remains one of the richest areas of the U.S. because of it's unique culture--a haphazard blend of modern day America and the colorful Mexican traditions.

I don't remember any of my friends being "rich" growing up. Most of our families were low to middle class workin' folk. My mom was a school teacher at Victor Fields Elemetary in McAllen and my dad drove to Starr County and back every day working for Sun Oil. The best thing about growing up in The Valley was that Edinburg was small enough that by the time we got to high school, we pretty much knew everyone in the town. We also consider the other towns and high schools to be rivals. That is to say that we didn't mix so much with other kids from other high schools.

This is a journey through the things I think are funny about where I grew up.  I'm not really makin' fun, just realizin' that to folks on the outside lookin' in....The Valley is a funny place culturally.  I have taken the liberty of using photos posted on one of my favorite FB groups, "Only in the Valley".  They will explain a lot.  The focus will be on

food, fashion, transportation, and langage of Tex-Mex.  Here we go....

Food is good stuff in The Valley.  The best food is found in places most uppity, big-haired Dallas women wouldn't be caught dead eatin'.

That would be correct.  Some of the best places to grab some grub are at mom and pop establishments called tacquerias (tah-kuh-ree-ahs).  These differ from the tacquerias and carts in Mexico simply because there are local health laws that are loosely adhered to.  In Mexico, not so much.  After all, you won't see many old folks or dogs wanderin' the streets of Reynosa.  Just sayin'....  At a Valley taco stand you will find the absolute best tacos.  Take a look at this one:

I can guarantee this taco will be fresher and taste better than anything you can get north of Three Rivers.  And I can say with absolute certainty that that tortilla didn't come in a package from Kroger.  It was probably made by some rotund lady pattin' out dough and tossin' it on a piece of sheet metal heated by a propane burner.  Delish!

Take a gander at the menu of this tacqueria.

Bet you're thinkin' you can get a spot of a nice Chardonnay with your egg taco.  That would be incorrect.  But you CAN get cut up weiners with eggs in a taco.  Don't knock it until you try it.

Saunterin' through the HEB can be fun experience.  You will see things like "HEB feet" and this

There isn't a meat counter guy at any Market Street or Albertson's in the Dallas area that has the huevos to gussy up the display case like this.  BTW, "HEB feet" are those found on the kids runnin' wild, unsupervised and barefoot in HEB.   Those feet come in dirty and leave even dirtier.  It's a sight to see and one no self-respectin' Plano mom would let happen. 

While on the topic of food, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Valleyites take their cuein' seriously.  Sometimes neccessity is the brainchild of creativity.  Valleyites are not new to the concept of recycling.  Take a look:

Wouldn't that look just dandy in your backyard?  Only in The Valley, that is more appropriately placed in the front yard...most likely in the driveway.  Sometimes Valleyites travel with their pits.

Don't be jealous.  His house is probably a 400 square foot shanty in a colonia without plumbing or sewer lines.  I'm not kidding.  It's a known fact about Valley life, your car is taken care of better than house and your television is so big that it barely fits through the door.

The Valley has it's delicacies also.  Things like menudo and cabrito.  Cabrito is baby (read "infant") goat that is fired up in a pit.  "They" say it's good.  I don't know.  Couldn't ever get passed the "baby goat" part.  Menudo isn't a young boy band of the eighties.  You'll just have to google it.  It's too disgusting, IMHO.  But there is one thing that every Valley child loves....

In the Valley, there are no snow cones.  There are raspas (rah-spahs).  Can't remember the name of this concoction, but I do remember eatin' them as a child.  It's shaved ice with cherry (or grape) syrup.  Sprinkled on top is Kool-Aid.  I do not lie.  Kool-Aid right out of the package.  Then, on top of that, chopped dill pickle.  Yep! I said dill pickles.  Gives new meaning to the culinary term, "sweet and sour".

Speakin' of sweet and sour, take a gander at this doll.....

This is an example of how a Valley Girl might want to make her face for the work day.  It's not all that uncommon to find women shaving their unibrow and pencilling in two lovely eyebrows.  In Dallas, this would be a dead giveaway for a drag queen.  And the lips....eeee-gads!  I'm glad I was brought up to depend on Merle Norman and Clinique....I'm pretty sure those perfect eyebrows would not have worked for my imperfect self.  If you think that's odd, look at how a Valley Dog gets made up....

I guess Flaca the Chihuahua's owner was worried she might have trouble attracting strays to mate with....can you say, "Aye, Chihuahua?"

Most north Texas moms I hang with will at the very least get up and put on sweats to make it to a early morning soccer game at the local park.  Not a Valley Mom....she gets decked out.  Afterall, you never know who she might see.....

Sad thing is is that she is probably going to a job interview afterward....or to church.  Her dressy shoes are in the car, I'm sure.

Valley women love to dress up for a night out.  Anywhere out of The Valley, these women would be the envy of all transvestites that cross their path....

I'm pretty sure I was at this wedding reception back in 1983.  The whole Madonna look was and IS still huge.  Why is it I can't find foundation garments to fit my rather rotund self and these women are not only wearing them, they're rockin' them?  I know you are having a hard time with the garment part of the picture.  Admit it, you're having a very difficult time getting past the white makeup and eye shadow.

Men also hold their own sense of style in The Valley.  The Mexican Mullet has been big for as long as I can remember.  I don't remember when it was I heard for the first time, "business in the front, party in the back."  I DO know it was a really long, long time ago....teen years, I imagine.

One last note about Valley fashion, no self-respecting Valleyite doesn't have a pair of chanclas. 

That's sandals in Tex-Mex.  Most Valleyites don't abide by the shoe rule of "white only after Easter and before Labor Day."  The Valley shoe rule is "chanclas without socks only after Valentine's Day and before Thanksgiving."  That's how Valleyites tell seasons....there are only two down there.  If folks are wearing socks with their chanclas it's winter.  If not, it's summer.

Valleyites also have a unique view of transportation.  Most of the time, a person's vehicle is worth more than the house where he/she lives.  And since a good majority of a person's income is tied up in a car, that vehicle has to serve many purposes.

Sometimes cars will have the family names listed.....don't you bet "Boogers" is proud of that name?

Most of the time, though, Valleyites tend to name their cars.  Don't you know this guy is a babe magnet as he cruises around in his 1986 Chevy Astrovan? 

There are some savvy business peeps in The Valley.  The wind blows and the dust flies ALL the time down there.  Look how this business owner decided to take advantage of nature's blessings and keep costs down.

I'm sure this flower shop owner boosted his profits considerably when he avoided the cost of a car sign AND the price of weekly car washes.

Vehicles in The Valley tend to be multipurpose.  This guy probably got a good deal on the boat at the pulga (flea market) because the trailer was missing.  Not a problem....

I think this is pretty ingenious.  Don't you know this is what Nissan had in mind when they developed this particular pickup? 

The U-Haul business in The Valley isn't just dandy.  Why should it be when you can use a regular sedan to move?

All I can say to the previous four photos is that packin' your car like this north of Austin will get you arrested on suspension of theft before you can get your car out of second gear.  Also, is it surprising there is very little tailgating on Valley streets and highways?

I've gone on way too long in this post and I haven't even scratched the surface of language yet.  I'd best keep the mystery of speakin' in Valley tongue for another post.  It's complicated, kinda.  The most important rule of Tex-Mex is that it is perfectly correct to start speaking in English and finish the sentence in Spanish....or vice-versa.  Then there are the phonetic things that go along with speakin' with Valley tongue.  Let's just suffice it to say that most Valleyites love their pee cups whether they drive a Dotch, Fort, or Shebby.

Thanks for hangin' with me through a few pages of my heritage scrapbook.  To compliment you on your ability to read through this lengthy explanation of where I come from, I am offerin' a Lupelotto.  This time it's a scrap quilt.  It's full-size and is by no means meant to be the basis of your bedroom decor.  A response in either this post's comments section or on my FB page will get you entered.  I'm trying to boost the numbers on my blog to justify getting my own domain name, so if you were to get someone else to read this post and enter, I will enter your name again.   The new reader will need to let me know who suggested the blog.  Up your chances and help me out!  Below is a picture of what you're winnin'.  Keep in mind that there is a reason it's called a Scrap Quilt!  It's meant to be a wallerin' quilt....not a piece of fine art!

Drawing will be held on Friday, March 5th....early mornin'....