So I missed Texas Public School Week last week.  I hate that because I really wanted to write a blogmess about teachers in  a timely instance.  Oh, well.  I guess I'm just a week late and a prize short.  Try as I might, this might take some doin' because I'm going to try and correllate a way-out-there, wouldn't-that-just-be-awesome dream of mine with a salute to teachers.  Hang with me. Here I go.

Each year, Plano ISD has a huge convocation that kicks off the new school year.  Every conceivable employee in the district attends this big hoo-ha pep rally held at a mega-church in town.  At this huge event, the usual run of speakers occurs.  Included in the speaking line-up is a recent graduate of one of the three Plano high schools. The kid usually is a really good student with honors out the wahzoo.  It's great to see a kid pile on the accolades and thanks to a very deserving group of folks.  BUT, it got me to thinkin'.

I would love to see a parent of a Plano ISD student address the convocation.  My reason is very simple.  As much as teachers have taught my kids in the last twelve years, they have taught me.  Seriously.  Yep, I think I could do a bang-up job tellin' these folks what they are doing right, not from a student's, or even educator's, perspective; but from a parent's point of view.  So here goes my dream address to the teachers that have helped me shape my sons.

Before you go gettin' all "I'm not listened" on me, let me assure you that I'm not standing up here to pontificate about any new theory or learning methodology.  I'm not here, necessarily, to make you laugh or even to make you think.  My sole purpose is to enlighten you on how much the group of you teach parents as much as you teach students.  More importantly, I really need to tell you how much I appreciate Plano ISD's educators' ability to impart a very special implicit curriculum (the things you teach without knowing it or planning for it) that is helping me shape my boys into (what I think) really admirable young men.

I don't for one second believe that my boys are prizes.  They're special to me because, well, they're mine.  Yet, as teachers, you have really played a superb role in developing my family into a pretty darn good one.  You have taught me that it's okay to let my boys fail..  Somewhere along the way, you have encouraged me to do all I can to push them in the right direction, but also to let them own their own decisions concerning their learning.  I will always be grateful for this. 

This past year, I went to Digs' teacher about his integrated grade.  Stephanie Losoya and I talked about Digs' seemingly inability to study appropriately for his tests.  I threw up my hands and said, "Stephanie, I say he's gonna have to fail a few tests before he learns that I can't take the test for him and that I can't make him study."  Without missing a beat, Stephanie thanked ME for letting him fail.  She recognized that his ability to do well was not embedded in his knowledge, it was planted firmly in his willingness to do the studying.  Sometimes lessons have to come from what I call Slobberknockin' School.  When my boys get tired of getting the slobber knocked out of them, they do something about it.

 On the other hand, I distinctly remember a phone call when Charley was in fifth grade.   A phone call came from Lydia Formby, his homeroom teacher.  It followed along these lines after the initial chitchat:

Mrs. Formby:  "Why is Charley not in the top language and math groups?"

Me:  "Because he's "average"?

Mrs. Formby:  "He's not average.  His MAP scores are high.  We need to put him in the top group in math and language."

Me: "Okay.  I always thought he wasn't in the top groups because his scores didn't shake out that way.  Looks like the boy has been sand-baggin'."

Reality is that my boys will never be valedictorians of their respective classes.  But they aren't necessarily all that dumb either.  It took a teacher's insistence and absolute belief that he WOULD do "top level" work.  I will always cherish that a teacher believed in my kid to the point of making him jump, if not over, at least to the mark she believed he could attain.  Plano teachers do this time and time again.

 My boys, Charley especially, will usually do only what is required.  In elementary school, I've heard more times that I can count, "the sheet doesn't say that" when I suggest "dollin' up" assignment to make a good impression.  If a teacher assigned XYZ, the teacher got XYZ and not a thing more.  Now that Charley is is at the senior high, he's beginning to understand that first impressions DO make a difference....even in written projects.  He is learning that minimal extra effort is sometimes easily recognizable and rewarded when it is used judicially.  I have teachers to thank for helping me drive this point home with my boys.  Teachers have done an outstanding job at setting the standard at an attainable level and rewarding the efforts of reaching beyond.

Compassion and generosity are big elements in the character building business for me.  Teachers have done a great job reinforcing that in my boys without insinuating what may be their personal beliefs over those of mine.  I will always be grateful that Digs developed a truly compassionate, benevolent friendship with a special needs student.  I remember that when he was in first grade he would come home and talk about her.  He was curious as to what "wasn't right" with her.  He really wanted to know why she was different.  Not wanting to give more information than necessary, I just let him work through the answers to his questions himself.  Finally, one day he says to me, "Mom, I think I can explain it.  Her brain runs with a different kind of motor than mine." 

Digs continued his friendship with this student  with this understanding for three years, when in third grade something went amiss.  Digs came home one day saying that he didn't want to get her in trouble, but she was embarrassing him trying to tickle him at recess.  I explained to Digs that because her motor was different than most folks, that it was important for him to rely on an adult, in this case his teacher, so that his friend could be taught that ticklin' the fruits in the loom is not appropriate.  I truly appreciate the way in which Edie Blachly handled Digs' concerns and his friend's shortcomings.  You see, Digs is a kid that can be redirected and corrected without having to raise your voice or utter a harsh word.  Apparently, his friend's engine didn't operate quite that way.  She needed a sterner voice that Digs interpreted to be "mad".  I'll never know what was said or how it was done, but I do know that Digs ability to show kindness and compassion was reinforced simply by the actions of his teacher. 

I am also awed by some teachers totally mesmerizing (to me) skill at steadfastness.  I sometimes get worn down by Digs and Charley and make the fatal mistake of negotiating "deals" with them.  My sons have responded well to teachers that purposely do not embrace the whole negotiation idea.  Dawn Inman, my boys' kindergarten teacher, is a master.  She is a nuturer through and through.  That calm and positive voice can be such a gift.  The bonus prize with Dawn is that once the instructions have been given and the quality standard issued there is no negotiation.  How great is that?  Shannon Wallace, Lynne Bryan, Jim Duvall, Amy Elam Robbins, and Lynda Bommarito are also masters in this field of expertise.  Shannon combines her steadfastness with humor.  Lynne Bryan is wonderfully thorough in her ability to let a kid (who thinks he can negotiate a deal) reiterate himself the instructions and the standard.  The youngest of six boys and a former Marine, Jim Duvall's steadfastness in maintaining his students' achievement standards doesn't really need description.  It just IS by virtue of his experiences.  Amy and Lynda can hug a kid with one arm and twist the kid into submission with the other.  All with smiles on their faces and songs in their heart.  WOW!  I want to mother like you guys teach. 

Because I have worn those teacher shoes I am in awe of the job my sons' teachers do daily.  I've done things as a principal that I pray most of you will never experience....going through a rollback election, integrating an elementary school, yankin' a swinging belt out of a parent's hand as he was beating his kid in the parking lot on Grandparents' Day, and giving police identifying information on a fourth grader that had been blugeoned to death.  I KNOW a teacher's job isn't easy.  Neither is any paraprofessional job or hourly worker job in a school district.  The very least I can do is to lead my sons to the realization that no teacher purposely sets out to make their lives miserable.  The very least my boys can do is to give all their teachers is their attention, a good attitude, and their best effort.

I am grateful that my sons' teachers have always made me feel like I was a significant part in the whole scheme of things.  I entered kindergarten a little reluctantly because I knew how schools worked.  I had had my share of bad experiences with obnoxious parents, wrong parents, helicopter parents, clueless parents, and all manner of holier-than-thou parents.  I really didn't want to be one of those.  I hope I haven't.  I have really tried to not make my sons' trip through the system be MY trip.  Yet, I have mostly encountered teachers who are willing to listen and respond thoughtfully to any concerns.  I realize I'm no prize either, so I know what a challenge it is for a teacher to have me as a parent.  Plano teachers have taken my boys and encouraged them to fly with the wings I have given them.  And in doing so, those same teachers have set the realization of my one "mom" dream in motion.

You see, I really don't care that my boys aren't going to be professional athletes.  Or the next great politician.  Or President of the United States. Or the next Bill Gates.  The one BIG mom-goal I have is really off the beaten path.  The goal that marks my success as a mother is a one shot moment with each of the Graves boy.  That moment will be on the day each of them marries.  I will know Keith and I have succeeded when the couple on the OTHER side of the aisle is blubberin' and boohooin' more than me.  Not because their daughter is getting married, but because their daughter is marrying MY son and they know without any doubt they are gaining an educated,  responsible, character-filled man as a son-in-law.  Plano teachers have contributed greatly to my sons' upbringing.  Thanks, in advance, for contributing to the achievement of my goal.

My one hanging "what if" is that I don't really know Charley's middle school and high school teachers personally. My specific intent when Charley began secondary school was to let him assume the resposibility of his "business" . I want him (and next year, Digs) to know that their job is to learn. And with those jobs, there are things that they will not embrace willingly. There are things that are contrary to what Mom and Dad teach at home. And there are situations that will require them to start practicing those grown up skills called "Life". I want them to handle all they can on their own, knowing that Mom is a safe place for counsel and guidance. Charley has always known that if he needs me to step in, I can. I won't always, but I can. The problem with Mom going to bat though is that instead of bolstering his confidence, it will yank his independence right out of his hands. I want my kids to learn NOW the art of coexisting, and strategies for knowing what they believe, and the consequences of acting both benevolently and irresponsibly. Rest assured middle school and high school teachers, I think you rock too! But it is important to me that you think Charley and Digs are great kids and students, because of what they do and NOT what I do.

There is so much more I could say.  There are stories for each and every one of my boys' teachers I could tell to illustrate their great contributions to my sons.  Space is not great enough to include my entire success story.  Thanks to all of you for teaching me how to be a better mom.  I am humbled by your tenacity and graciousness.

I would encourage each of you reading this blogmess to take the time to salute a Texas educator.  Do it today. 

There are many, many great teachers I've known.  Here's my hug, my handshake, and my heartfelt kudos.  You rock! 

This week's prize is the quilt shown below.  To get your name in the hat, simply write the name of a teacher you're going to praise in someway this week because of the impact they have had on your kids (or you).  Drawing will be held on Friday, March 26.